No visit to Amritsar is ever complete without visit the Golden temple. The holy shrine looks so divine and magical, the moment your eyes see it. I had mixed emotions and experiences while visiting the temple and it's premises.
I must tell you I am not a keen pilgrim visitor, in fact I avoid totally. Also I am a cleanliness freak, so such places freak me out. 
Coming back to the Golden temple. The place is very organised for a religious place which thousands of believers throng every single day. Whether it comes you depositing your shoes, to buying prasad to Langar, everything is very well managed. The sarovar outside the temple looks mesmerising. This is the only place I have seen with such beautiful fishes and the little creatures aren't even scared of the humans' there. I was so surprised, they wouldn't even run away if accidently or otherwise touched by the humans.
Now as we stand in the line to the shrine, which is long and stuffed my claustrophobia starts. I thought a thought of a thousand times to give up and leave the line which was not only slow moving but also was suffocating, where there was not even a gap of half a inch between two people. The moment I decides to quit my 9 year old daughter told me to let it be and make it to the shrine.
Now it works in a tad different way for me. I always feel that religion and religious places shoukd have a calming affect on you. When you are faced with such situation it becomes a task and you feel like getting done away as quickly as possible. It doesn't invoke the appropriate emotions in you. It feels like a task to be accomplished. Here I am talking about myself. For some these hardships only makes it more pertinent. For me it kills all the enthusiasm. But I must say that I was so enchanted by the beauty of the carvings amongst the other things and the kara prasad after so much of struggle was like a pool of water in the desert.
The sarovar is beautiful. As I sat on the edge of the sarovar looking at the Golden and black fishes inside with temple in the foreground, there was a certain kind of peace, which I was expecting to feel inside the temple. The cold breeze from the sarovar had such a calming effect. It gives you serenity and helps you connect with the almighty. That's something you don't do everyday.
Want to come back here for the fishes, the breeze, the shrine, kara prasad, the sarovar and the soothing impact it has on the mind and soul.

wagah border

Wagah, or I should say Atari border (as this side of the border is called Atari.) is one of the must visit places, atleast once in your life time. I always wanted to see it. The feeling of looking at the last last gate of the country before the neighbouring country starts can't be described in the words. 
Wagah is not a place it's a phenomenon. The first lesson in patriotism. How our soldiers work, how it feels like to sit just a few metres away from Pakistan. We are not normal neighbours, never have been.
The retreat by the BSF personals leaves you mesmerised. The chants of vande matram, bharat mata ki jai and Hindustan zindabad sets your adrenaline to rush like mad. I haven't heard such honest chants in a very very long time. It felt like the most patriotic arena after or almost equivalent to the india - Pakistan match😀.
The 20 minute retreat is beautiful. Your heart goes out to the soldiers. Meanwhile you are curious to see how the other side looks like. You mentally check " are they any better than us?." " how many people are there in terms of number, in each side sitting in the arena?" Suddenly you become an Indian. The patriotic songs being played now make much more sense in your heart. You can see people from all age groups so excited. The energy, the enthusiasm.
I don't know about the others but I felt like hugging the soldiers. It is here when you see them you realise how hard they work, especially on these sensitive and high risk areas like borders. I just couldn't push back pathankot incident away.
On the way to the border I saw a board where lahore was marked 23 kms away.So feel so strange thinking about how close you are to Pakistan. Now we live around the neighbourhood which we love to hate and hate to love. We have a certain bias and emotions that we do not have with China, Nepal or Bangladesh, our other neighbours, but as we hear Pakistan the antennas are up. I saw some trucks at the border and was informed they were Pakistani trucks (we have a trade gate at wagah). I was curious to know and see them, how do they look like, what do we get from Pakistan? I can't say what you feel there good, bad, ugly or beautiful about Pakistan. There are no such emotions. For me when I sat there I was an Indian and I transformed into an Indian. Just thinking India is my country and that's Pakistan. I mean it's difficult to describe what you feel.
That border certainly has a much more impact on you than anything else you have ever heard or seen about Pakistan and India relationship. The trucks crossing the border. The black cat commandos, aggression of the soldiers performing the retreat, the crowd chanting slogans. You are in a different world and it's certainly not the normal one. I wanted to stop and talk to a few soldiers, but better luck next time.
Wagah/ Atari whatever you want to call it, but do visit. It is worth all your while.

Why golden temple is not just another shrine

Why golden temple is not just another shrine?
As I visited the Golden temple again the thoughts started creeping up again. It cannot just be termed as a shrine. It is something more than that, something vast, something more divine, more meaningful. Here's why
▪ It has four dwars (gates), it symbolises the open hearted welcome to all religion, caste , creed from all walks of life. 
▪ Two different forms of life co-exust together without being in the role of hunter and hunted. 
▪ It has a community kitchen where people are fed free food to everyone. People irrespective of any caste, creed or religion can serve or do "karsewa" at their will. Which invokes community feeling.
▪ They also provide temporary accomodation in the premises itself from the people who come from far and for some reasons cannot or (by will) do not want to stay outside.
▪ The Holy book of guru granth sahib is worshipped, and not any effigy. Which to me implies much more sense. The sculptures never change.
▪ The weapons are worshipped. Sikh started as warrior community. To worship something that protects you and the others can never to lesser than the almighty itself , if not the almighty.
▪ There are alot of elements, the water body, the shabad, Kirtan are soul stirring. It has almost meditation like effect on you. The kinds where you find yourself in the midst of so much crowd.
Harminder Sahib is just not a religious place. It's how an utopian society should be. The model of how a society should be.There is alot to learn from here, just keep your mind and senses open and be ready to receive.

In the light of the recent divorce of the famous personalities and not to famous one's, where the union of 18 years , 20 years and a few tennage kids later ends . My mind just can't stop wondering is the 7 year itch a myth. Is the institution of marriage a myth itself. No matter how many years you spend with each other and how many kids you have together, marriage isn't secured anymore. There is no age for issues like infidelity, growing apart, cheating or taking each away for granted.
Is divorce an only solution. To some I would say yes, you could be living together for 50 years and yet fiercely not compatible. I myself know of a couple who is. The reason not not divorcing...convenience, kids and social stigma. Another such couple I know has been a mismatch since beginning. Mentally abusive husband with three daughters...no divorce...kids damaged psychologically for life...a damage that can't be understood by anyone. These situations call for a divorce an urgent one, a real early one.
What I don't understand the divorce between people who do not have such grave issues. What is the excuse or infidelity yet sticking by your partner because you want your image to be intact in the society. It's like having best of both words. Here I am not referring to any specific gender. Things like cheating, insecurity and infidelity aren't gender specific. They are common. And what about kids. Either don't bring them in this world or if the seeds are sown then give them proper support, sunlight and all the other factors until they no longer need it. Both mother and father are the important basic ingredients of a kids life. Has this been not the case, it would have arranged that way. We would have been able to produce individually like some of the organisms in this world.
The point is, is this reunion a total myth...when can you safely say that we are beyond this line, now there is nothing that can go wrong. Basically when can you say we see each other growing old together or its a happy ever after from here. Or are there no happy ever after at all.
It has turned so scary. It has becomes so unstable that you keep wondering. Who and what is next. Someone who is posting a happy picture today might be ready to post a saperation or divorce announcement the very next day. It's just not the global warming and pollution we need to get scared of. I think decomposition of the human relationship is the worst kind of threat we are facing today. 😕😐

Last week I was at my doctor's clinic for the regular checkup. We exchanged pleasantries as i walked into her cabin. As we started talking there was a call on her cell, which she picked up. She spoke at length and patiently, advising, sympathising while examining me.  I thought must be a call from her known. As she put down the phone, she informed she was talking to a patient about her teenage daughter about some issue. I was amused. This instantly took me back to the incident almost two years ago. My son then 2.5 years old had high fever and the medicine could not bring his fever down. we called the pediatrician so many times and she didn't pick up. Desperate and at our wits end at 6:30 am we located her house and went knocking on her door. She opened and gave us a look like what the hell. This doctor of mine always entertained messages and calls. She patiently listens to you and provides solution. 

I could not but compare the two doctors and then i realised that, its is not about being a doctor but it has more to do with the kind of human being you are. When you are happy with what you are,where you are and what you are doing it shows on your face and your attitude. Both doctors are women, mothers and of course working for money too, But the one understands the depth of her profession, while the other is just too professional. 

Before being anyone else, a doctor, a teacher, a businessman, an engineer or a vegetable seller you need to be at peace with yourself. The work you are doing should give you much more than the money and occupation or even name and fame. Your experience should make you a better human being as you progress further in life.  I agree that not everyone has same circumstances and same upbringing, but the fact also is that when you are happy and satisfied with yourself it reflects on your face, it reflects on your life and in this process you make many more lives worth living.

You would notice there are some people who look so calm and inviting and there are others who you are uncomfortable to approach. Being at peace with yourself doesn’t mean that you aren’t ambitious or you are stagnant or you have stopped progressing since you are happy in your space. In opposition to that that when the happiness and contentment comes from within, you not only illuminate other people’s life but you progress effortlessly.

So be at peace with yourself first, it’s the first step towards the success, yours as well as others. J