Is money a friend or a foe? Is money really a dark demon we christened it to be or is it a victim of circumstances like many of us. I think money is neutral, it never denies contributing to the charity or crime in the same way. It's like water or the servant of the master. It follows the instructions and motive of the owner without being judgmental or being in denial. Money is never "black" or "white" it's not even grey, its everything in between. It's colorless and shapeless. It gets as powerful or as worthless as you would want it to be. Blaming money for all the misery is as bad as blaming the knife for the murder. Some say money can buy everything, and to some extent it does. If you have money you can buy happiness; yours as well as others. You can buy a smile, yours as well as of the others, it solely depends upon you. It can buy comfort. It can buy bombs and it can also buy bandages. It can also buy integrity and loyalties too. The most important quality of money is that it speaks the universal language without even uttering a single word.  Isn’t it totally amazing? When you find yourself in foreign lands amongst strangers, it’s the money that comes to our rescue. It entirely depends upon you what you want to buy with yours. I read somewhere “Money is a good slave but a bad master.” And it made me wonder, how a non living thing can be a master of a living, intelligent being like human. It’s like saying my car is a bad driver, or my computer is an intelligent teacher. It would be untrue because when the reins of something are totally under our control then how can it rule us? Strange enough we are mostly bitter about the money when people don’t have, once at the other side of the fence, the complaints about this deadly demon ruining the world become lesser and lesser. It is essential to understand that in the journey of life money is one of our many acquaintances and not our leader. Actually we should all learn a lesson or a few from it, to be it symbolizes, be the most extraordinary and still posses the power to turn the world upside down. Have no power of your own and yet rule the roost. On the other hand, it also shows us how to be the most loyal subordinate/ worker and never question the motive and intention of the person you are with. This the kind of employee that all of us dream of. Don’t we?
Let us give it a thought is money really a culprit or does the fault lies within us.

As we crossed the famous Tihar jail. I could not help but notice the graffiti on the wall. The conversation focused on the jail. I read somewhere that the inmates painted these. Someone informed that there are such talented singers inside and he has had the opportunity to sing for them and hear them sing as well. " and some of them are exceptional. " he gushed. The conversation then moved to the other topics. 
My mind wandered inside the jail. I kept thinking this high security confined area we call jail is full of criminals, some deadly and some petty. Yet some other criminals made by the circumstances.Some of them people with talents unknown to them. I thought, God bestows us with many facultie, it's us to decide which faculty to develop and how much. Sometimes we are too lazy, too scared or too ignorant to step into unknown, thinking we might just fail, fall down or simply " not our cup of tea". We brush aside what we can potentially develop into something beautiful or something that requires a real talent. It's the matter of choice we as humans choose the easiest. Sometimes that easy may not be that easy (like murder or theft or something like that. ) But it seems easy at that point of time against something that requires labour of sweat and blood and not to forget practise.
Sometimes freedom taken away from us or the lack of options make us look down deep inside us. Something that's not easy. Something that's still in explored. We develop that has always been dormant in us.
Sometimes in darkness we find our true selves. The place where we least expect or too afraid to look out before.......think about it.☺

I am a very nervous traveller when it comes to the airplane journey. No matter how many times I fly it feels like the first time. Jitters a day before, nervousness when it takes off...anxiety...anxiety...more anxiety and super anxious as it decends to land. I keep watching all the airplane crash series on the likes of discovery and then keep thinking about them on board. 😣
During one such journey I could not help but notice my 4.6 month old son excited. He kept watching outside the window consistently and getting excited. He had to be told a zillion times to strap his seat belt as we approached to land. I kept wondering that he had enjoyed the entire journey. He considers it as a means of travel and not something deadly to be scared of. He was enjoying the moment the journey.
This made me think, is too much knowledge really harmful? Just because we know too much about everything that adds on to our miseries. Is it our constant search of too much knowledge of everything that stops us from sitting back and enjoying the moment we are in? Is it really folly to be wise when ignorance is a bliss. What has to happen has to happen it won't change if we worried or we didn't just like my 4 year old he wouldn't bother if the landing gears get stuck or the plane shoots of the runway or looses it's balance. He won't feel fear or anxious until he sees it on his parent's face. He would live for the moment and enjoy every bit of it.
I smiled as we had a smooth landing and he was disappointed since we had to leave the plane. Hope I remember the lesson learnt today I said to myself. 😊😊

The hall wedding ( North weds south)

After the temple wedding was done, we had good 3 hours to our disposal. We had a hearty meal of soft hot idlis with chutney and sambhar. We then headed to get ready for the hall wedding. 
The bride got ready in a very bright red kanjivaram. A simple hairdo with manteeka and gajra made her look so astonishing. She was ready in about an hour. We had decided to wear our kanjivarams too. For the hair, I told the beautician to put as much gajra on my bun as humanly possible. The smell of the fresh jasmine was intoxicating and unmatchable. 
It was now time to welcome the groom. He was welcomed by brides mother with the jasmine garland. My son washed groom's feet and then both bride and groom walked towards the stage together. 
The stage was decorated with coconut flowers, wheat, lamps and other such things which were the symbol of productivity. 11 small girls brought the small lamps and placed it on the stage. The bride and the groom took pheras of the same. I wondered what could be better than taking the pheras around the symbols of productivity and prosperity as two young lives were about to start a life together. The garlands were exchanged. The bride tied a gold chain around the groom's neck and he in turn adorned her neck with a beatific necklace. There were shouts of congratulations. 
As a north Indian I wondered if we would be able to treat both of them with sweets as I could not see the sweet boxes in the vicinity. Then the groom's mother came with a glass of milk with small chunks of banana in it. We had to fed the couple spoonful. 
There were no envelopes given, no gifts showered. Only genuine smiles and pictures. As for the cash. We were told to keep Rs.100 in front of the God on stage. 100 to the man playing shehnayi and yet 100 to the priest. Not more than that. There were no bandwalas asking for "neg" and nagged you. 
After the pictures were done ( people didn't rush for food after giving envelopes since there were none to be given. ) the lunch was served " sadya" or the traditional wedding food was served on the banana leaf. The food was without onion and garlic and ofcourse our beloved paneer. Apparently you have to serve vegetarian food even of you are a non vegetarian. 
The vidai was done admist laughter and smiles. We knew we are not giving away our daughter, she is going to a new home. 
The simplicity of the entire process just made me speechless. The brother of the groom who had to attend the hall full of people came several times to ask her if we need anything. It was so humbling. What a gesture I thought. I kept thinking that in North the colour of our skin is white but in South the colour of their heart is whiter than that. We spent so much on our weddings and here they prefer to give it to the newlyweds and keep it simple and yet so elegant and purposeful.
I would also like to say that it is not necessary that everyone will have the same experience, but this is what we experienced. May be we were the lucky ones. 
In the end I want to thank my sister and my brother in law, had it not been for them we would have never had such a divine experience. May they live happily ever after.😊

We were a part of the south indian ( Malyali ) wedding, as my sister got married to the boy from kerala. We were informed that there will be two part of the festivities. One marriage will take place in the guruvayur temple very early morning and another in the hall at near about 11am☺
We kept wondering as to why such early morning wedding. In the morning we all woke up at 4am, grumpy from the previous day's travel. We all got dressed up. The bride was looking exceptional with her kerala saree, her gajra, green bangles and chuda ( remember north meeting south.). It was just before the dawn that we reached the temple on foot. Those white sarees to me symbolised the purity of dawn; serenity. There was mandap ( elevated stage). The traditional music was played. There were only seven people on the stage. Girls parent, groom's parents, priest and the bride and groom. Soon the garland made of tulsi and lotus were exchanged. The groom and bride took the phera. The groom tied the mangalsutra. And I don't know if I will do the justice to that experience we had. It was very early morning. The music was soul steering. The temple was in the front. Tulsi around their neck. The smell of fresh jasmine gajras. It was such a positive environment that the tears and smile appeared on everyone's face at the time. The two young people were about to start a life. What can be more pure and pious than this. Far away from what we do in the north. So simple and yet so heart touching. The hall wedding in the next post.

#templewedding#southmarriesnorth #guruvayur

The North meets the south

Two days ago, my sister got married into a malyali family in a traditional ceremony in the Guruvayur temple. It was a deadly combination of north marrying south ( atleast to the relatives.) When my sister first expressed her desire to marry a south india guy ( yes at that time all of them living in the south india were just south indians.) we were a little sceptical, they must have been too, . Then they came down to meet us for the very first time. What stood out in them immediately was their humility and simplicity. we connect well. We were invited. What we saw in their house as we visited them further made us believe that our choice has no flaw. The wedding date was fixed and we came back as a very happy family. In the meantime we knew that the girl of the house was getting married to a malyali and ,yes they are different from Tamilians, Kannadigas, people from telangana and people from andhra. They are different in a lot many ways. Their language, food, perspective, everything is different. Mallus are much humbler and way less aggressive. What happened at the wedding where north met south will follow soon.