No visit to Amritsar is ever complete without visit the Golden temple. The holy shrine looks so divine and magical, the moment your eyes see it. I had mixed emotions and experiences while visiting the temple and it's premises.
I must tell you I am not a keen pilgrim visitor, in fact I avoid totally. Also I am a cleanliness freak, so such places freak me out. 
Coming back to the Golden temple. The place is very organised for a religious place which thousands of believers throng every single day. Whether it comes you depositing your shoes, to buying prasad to Langar, everything is very well managed. The sarovar outside the temple looks mesmerising. This is the only place I have seen with such beautiful fishes and the little creatures aren't even scared of the humans' there. I was so surprised, they wouldn't even run away if accidently or otherwise touched by the humans.
Now as we stand in the line to the shrine, which is long and stuffed my claustrophobia starts. I thought a thought of a thousand times to give up and leave the line which was not only slow moving but also was suffocating, where there was not even a gap of half a inch between two people. The moment I decides to quit my 9 year old daughter told me to let it be and make it to the shrine.
Now it works in a tad different way for me. I always feel that religion and religious places shoukd have a calming affect on you. When you are faced with such situation it becomes a task and you feel like getting done away as quickly as possible. It doesn't invoke the appropriate emotions in you. It feels like a task to be accomplished. Here I am talking about myself. For some these hardships only makes it more pertinent. For me it kills all the enthusiasm. But I must say that I was so enchanted by the beauty of the carvings amongst the other things and the kara prasad after so much of struggle was like a pool of water in the desert.
The sarovar is beautiful. As I sat on the edge of the sarovar looking at the Golden and black fishes inside with temple in the foreground, there was a certain kind of peace, which I was expecting to feel inside the temple. The cold breeze from the sarovar had such a calming effect. It gives you serenity and helps you connect with the almighty. That's something you don't do everyday.
Want to come back here for the fishes, the breeze, the shrine, kara prasad, the sarovar and the soothing impact it has on the mind and soul.

wagah border

Wagah, or I should say Atari border (as this side of the border is called Atari.) is one of the must visit places, atleast once in your life time. I always wanted to see it. The feeling of looking at the last last gate of the country before the neighbouring country starts can't be described in the words. 
Wagah is not a place it's a phenomenon. The first lesson in patriotism. How our soldiers work, how it feels like to sit just a few metres away from Pakistan. We are not normal neighbours, never have been.
The retreat by the BSF personals leaves you mesmerised. The chants of vande matram, bharat mata ki jai and Hindustan zindabad sets your adrenaline to rush like mad. I haven't heard such honest chants in a very very long time. It felt like the most patriotic arena after or almost equivalent to the india - Pakistan match😀.
The 20 minute retreat is beautiful. Your heart goes out to the soldiers. Meanwhile you are curious to see how the other side looks like. You mentally check " are they any better than us?." " how many people are there in terms of number, in each side sitting in the arena?" Suddenly you become an Indian. The patriotic songs being played now make much more sense in your heart. You can see people from all age groups so excited. The energy, the enthusiasm.
I don't know about the others but I felt like hugging the soldiers. It is here when you see them you realise how hard they work, especially on these sensitive and high risk areas like borders. I just couldn't push back pathankot incident away.
On the way to the border I saw a board where lahore was marked 23 kms away.So feel so strange thinking about how close you are to Pakistan. Now we live around the neighbourhood which we love to hate and hate to love. We have a certain bias and emotions that we do not have with China, Nepal or Bangladesh, our other neighbours, but as we hear Pakistan the antennas are up. I saw some trucks at the border and was informed they were Pakistani trucks (we have a trade gate at wagah). I was curious to know and see them, how do they look like, what do we get from Pakistan? I can't say what you feel there good, bad, ugly or beautiful about Pakistan. There are no such emotions. For me when I sat there I was an Indian and I transformed into an Indian. Just thinking India is my country and that's Pakistan. I mean it's difficult to describe what you feel.
That border certainly has a much more impact on you than anything else you have ever heard or seen about Pakistan and India relationship. The trucks crossing the border. The black cat commandos, aggression of the soldiers performing the retreat, the crowd chanting slogans. You are in a different world and it's certainly not the normal one. I wanted to stop and talk to a few soldiers, but better luck next time.
Wagah/ Atari whatever you want to call it, but do visit. It is worth all your while.

Why golden temple is not just another shrine

Why golden temple is not just another shrine?
As I visited the Golden temple again the thoughts started creeping up again. It cannot just be termed as a shrine. It is something more than that, something vast, something more divine, more meaningful. Here's why
▪ It has four dwars (gates), it symbolises the open hearted welcome to all religion, caste , creed from all walks of life. 
▪ Two different forms of life co-exust together without being in the role of hunter and hunted. 
▪ It has a community kitchen where people are fed free food to everyone. People irrespective of any caste, creed or religion can serve or do "karsewa" at their will. Which invokes community feeling.
▪ They also provide temporary accomodation in the premises itself from the people who come from far and for some reasons cannot or (by will) do not want to stay outside.
▪ The Holy book of guru granth sahib is worshipped, and not any effigy. Which to me implies much more sense. The sculptures never change.
▪ The weapons are worshipped. Sikh started as warrior community. To worship something that protects you and the others can never to lesser than the almighty itself , if not the almighty.
▪ There are alot of elements, the water body, the shabad, Kirtan are soul stirring. It has almost meditation like effect on you. The kinds where you find yourself in the midst of so much crowd.
Harminder Sahib is just not a religious place. It's how an utopian society should be. The model of how a society should be.There is alot to learn from here, just keep your mind and senses open and be ready to receive.

In the light of the recent divorce of the famous personalities and not to famous one's, where the union of 18 years , 20 years and a few tennage kids later ends . My mind just can't stop wondering is the 7 year itch a myth. Is the institution of marriage a myth itself. No matter how many years you spend with each other and how many kids you have together, marriage isn't secured anymore. There is no age for issues like infidelity, growing apart, cheating or taking each away for granted.
Is divorce an only solution. To some I would say yes, you could be living together for 50 years and yet fiercely not compatible. I myself know of a couple who is. The reason not not divorcing...convenience, kids and social stigma. Another such couple I know has been a mismatch since beginning. Mentally abusive husband with three daughters...no divorce...kids damaged psychologically for life...a damage that can't be understood by anyone. These situations call for a divorce an urgent one, a real early one.
What I don't understand the divorce between people who do not have such grave issues. What is the excuse or infidelity yet sticking by your partner because you want your image to be intact in the society. It's like having best of both words. Here I am not referring to any specific gender. Things like cheating, insecurity and infidelity aren't gender specific. They are common. And what about kids. Either don't bring them in this world or if the seeds are sown then give them proper support, sunlight and all the other factors until they no longer need it. Both mother and father are the important basic ingredients of a kids life. Has this been not the case, it would have arranged that way. We would have been able to produce individually like some of the organisms in this world.
The point is, is this reunion a total myth...when can you safely say that we are beyond this line, now there is nothing that can go wrong. Basically when can you say we see each other growing old together or its a happy ever after from here. Or are there no happy ever after at all.
It has turned so scary. It has becomes so unstable that you keep wondering. Who and what is next. Someone who is posting a happy picture today might be ready to post a saperation or divorce announcement the very next day. It's just not the global warming and pollution we need to get scared of. I think decomposition of the human relationship is the worst kind of threat we are facing today. 😕😐

Last week I was at my doctor's clinic for the regular checkup. We exchanged pleasantries as i walked into her cabin. As we started talking there was a call on her cell, which she picked up. She spoke at length and patiently, advising, sympathising while examining me.  I thought must be a call from her known. As she put down the phone, she informed she was talking to a patient about her teenage daughter about some issue. I was amused. This instantly took me back to the incident almost two years ago. My son then 2.5 years old had high fever and the medicine could not bring his fever down. we called the pediatrician so many times and she didn't pick up. Desperate and at our wits end at 6:30 am we located her house and went knocking on her door. She opened and gave us a look like what the hell. This doctor of mine always entertained messages and calls. She patiently listens to you and provides solution. 

I could not but compare the two doctors and then i realised that, its is not about being a doctor but it has more to do with the kind of human being you are. When you are happy with what you are,where you are and what you are doing it shows on your face and your attitude. Both doctors are women, mothers and of course working for money too, But the one understands the depth of her profession, while the other is just too professional. 

Before being anyone else, a doctor, a teacher, a businessman, an engineer or a vegetable seller you need to be at peace with yourself. The work you are doing should give you much more than the money and occupation or even name and fame. Your experience should make you a better human being as you progress further in life.  I agree that not everyone has same circumstances and same upbringing, but the fact also is that when you are happy and satisfied with yourself it reflects on your face, it reflects on your life and in this process you make many more lives worth living.

You would notice there are some people who look so calm and inviting and there are others who you are uncomfortable to approach. Being at peace with yourself doesn’t mean that you aren’t ambitious or you are stagnant or you have stopped progressing since you are happy in your space. In opposition to that that when the happiness and contentment comes from within, you not only illuminate other people’s life but you progress effortlessly.

So be at peace with yourself first, it’s the first step towards the success, yours as well as others. J

Is money a friend or a foe? Is money really a dark demon we christened it to be or is it a victim of circumstances like many of us. I think money is neutral, it never denies contributing to the charity or crime in the same way. It's like water or the servant of the master. It follows the instructions and motive of the owner without being judgmental or being in denial. Money is never "black" or "white" it's not even grey, its everything in between. It's colorless and shapeless. It gets as powerful or as worthless as you would want it to be. Blaming money for all the misery is as bad as blaming the knife for the murder. Some say money can buy everything, and to some extent it does. If you have money you can buy happiness; yours as well as others. You can buy a smile, yours as well as of the others, it solely depends upon you. It can buy comfort. It can buy bombs and it can also buy bandages. It can also buy integrity and loyalties too. The most important quality of money is that it speaks the universal language without even uttering a single word.  Isn’t it totally amazing? When you find yourself in foreign lands amongst strangers, it’s the money that comes to our rescue. It entirely depends upon you what you want to buy with yours. I read somewhere “Money is a good slave but a bad master.” And it made me wonder, how a non living thing can be a master of a living, intelligent being like human. It’s like saying my car is a bad driver, or my computer is an intelligent teacher. It would be untrue because when the reins of something are totally under our control then how can it rule us? Strange enough we are mostly bitter about the money when people don’t have, once at the other side of the fence, the complaints about this deadly demon ruining the world become lesser and lesser. It is essential to understand that in the journey of life money is one of our many acquaintances and not our leader. Actually we should all learn a lesson or a few from it, to be it symbolizes, be the most extraordinary and still posses the power to turn the world upside down. Have no power of your own and yet rule the roost. On the other hand, it also shows us how to be the most loyal subordinate/ worker and never question the motive and intention of the person you are with. This the kind of employee that all of us dream of. Don’t we?
Let us give it a thought is money really a culprit or does the fault lies within us.

As we crossed the famous Tihar jail. I could not help but notice the graffiti on the wall. The conversation focused on the jail. I read somewhere that the inmates painted these. Someone informed that there are such talented singers inside and he has had the opportunity to sing for them and hear them sing as well. " and some of them are exceptional. " he gushed. The conversation then moved to the other topics. 
My mind wandered inside the jail. I kept thinking this high security confined area we call jail is full of criminals, some deadly and some petty. Yet some other criminals made by the circumstances.Some of them people with talents unknown to them. I thought, God bestows us with many facultie, it's us to decide which faculty to develop and how much. Sometimes we are too lazy, too scared or too ignorant to step into unknown, thinking we might just fail, fall down or simply " not our cup of tea". We brush aside what we can potentially develop into something beautiful or something that requires a real talent. It's the matter of choice we as humans choose the easiest. Sometimes that easy may not be that easy (like murder or theft or something like that. ) But it seems easy at that point of time against something that requires labour of sweat and blood and not to forget practise.
Sometimes freedom taken away from us or the lack of options make us look down deep inside us. Something that's not easy. Something that's still in explored. We develop that has always been dormant in us.
Sometimes in darkness we find our true selves. The place where we least expect or too afraid to look out before.......think about it.☺